I have some friends who have recently went through something terrible. Their lives are filled with grief, confusion, and sadness.  I hurt for them.  I remember the times in my life that were marked with loss and sadness.  Though these valleys always seem like lush farming ground for the handiwork of God, there is no getting around the emotions and realities that these situations bring with them.  I pray for my friends daily and take comfort in the restoring power of Christ.

After my mother died in 1997, I remember the overwhelming sense of abandonment that accompanied my loss.  At 15 years old, the role a mother plays in a son’s life can only truly be understood fully when the mother exits his life.  It’s at that point that you get a sense of how unprepared and ill-equipped you can be without the tutelage and loving guidance of our moms.

I’ve been thinking a lot about grief and how the church can walk along people during difficult times.  If there’s one thing that grieving people do not need, it’s the well-intentioned but often unhelpful axioms that we’ve come to expect; “It’s all a part of God’s plan” “God’s in control” “It will be alright in time.”  There’s nothing inherently wrong with those statements in theory but, in practice, they do very little for the griever but minimize the grief with expressions.

My latest musical obsession is an English folk/bluegrass band called Mumford & Sons.  On their latest album, they have a beautiful song called Timshel (which is a great Hebrew word study… but that’ll come later…).  When I heard the song, it reminded me of something that gave me comfort during my time of grief (and I hope it gives comfort to those struggling reading this).  Here’s a lyrical section of the song…

And death is at your doorstep
And it will steal your innocence
But it will not steal your substance
But you are not alone in this
And you are not alone in this
As brothers we will stand and we’ll hold your hand
Hold your hand

I remember it like it was yesterday (though it was actually in 1997).  A friend came up to me and with a sense of sincerity that couldn’t be faked and told me, “Nate, I just want you to know that I really have no words for what you’re going through but I want you to know that I’m here for you whenever you need me.”  My friend wasn’t a trained counselor and I could tell that he truly didn’t know any words that would accomodate the situation.  There was no trying to fix my grief or trying to give advice to help expedite the sadness that my soul felt.  It was just an invitation for community.  “I’m here.  You’re not alone.”

There are literally hundreds of verses in scripture about loving each other and community but my favorite is a small and to-the-point one in Romans.  “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

In times of crises…
grief…
sadness…
loss…
illness…
joy…

celebration…

…what if we looked at it as an opportunity to live out the calling that God has put on His church; be devoted in your love for each other and honor each other.  Suffer with each other.  Sit with each other.  Be sad with each other.  Grieve with each other.  Devote your life to each other.  Let each other know that “you are not alone in this.“  That’s when the church becomes the Church. There’s a very real and beautiful power in community.